A couple of years ago I started to meditate on a regular basis in an effort to combat stress and anxiety. Unexpectedly, I learned that one of the benefits of meditation is becoming a better listener. As time passed and my dedication to my mindfulness practice became stronger and I realized that my senses became more ripe and receptive to the environment around me. Additionally, my cognitive ability sharpened and my ability to think dramatically increased. My conversations became more rich and effective because overtime I slowly started to absorb more of the stimuli around me and within me.
My “light bulb” moment came during a meeting a few years ago. There were several people in attendance and I was trying to convey a new idea. There was overwhelming resistance to my idea and it seemed that it would be a difficult task to portray the advantages and gain buy in. I can remember taking a deep breath and refocusing on hearing the true concerns that were being brought up. The space created by taking a breath allowed me to become open to the environment around me.
This moment became one of a series of moments in the past couple of years where I started to build an understanding of every person’s desire to be heard and understood. As I took a moment to truly actively listen, a sense of calm came upon me. I followed up concerns and reservations on the idea with questions to further understand them. The meeting went from a battleground to an innovative think tank. Walls that had formed started to fall and I could feel a sense of trust form. When we are heard and understood, we start to feel trust. That trust can lead to so much more. Stronger relationships and teams.
I believe that when we trust someone, we have love for that person as well. When we trust someone, we truly care for their needs and wants. This trust is what love is.
Heard + Understood = Love
